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The Goat Song letra
I am a simple goat
I live on the back of a pick-up truck
The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope
Am I happy he don't give a fuck
He's filled with anger, and filled with rage
And tells me I smell like piss
His drink, Jimmy Bean
His chaser, a bear
After that, various alcohols
That's when the beatings get so severe
Asleep I pray he falls
But don't feel sorry for me
Things weren't always this bad
Why, when I was a young talking goat
The Old Man was just like my dad
I come from the hills of Europe
That's where I met the Old Man
He was lost in the woods, I gave him directions
He gave me a tuna can
Then he stopped in his tracks
And he said, "Hey Goat!
Would you like to live with me?
I've got a house with a pick-up truck
In a place across the sea"
I said, "Sure, why not, I've got no family
You seem like a nice guy"
So we went off to America
The home of the apple pie
On the boat, the Old Man told me
I would be a present for his wife
"A talking goat!" he exclaimed,
"She'd never seen this in her life"
I felt so special!
Well, I just couldn't believe it
After all theses years I finally had a friend
He trimmed my beard
He scraped my hooves
I prayed it would never end
But when we got to his house
There was no wife
Only a short, short letter
It said: "I'm leaving you for your broher
Because he fucks me better"
His eyes filled with tears of sadness
His heart was filled with grief
To soothe himself he drank a pint of Old Granddad
And beat me like a side of beef
I screamed, "Send me back to the hills of Europe!"
He just shook his head and said, "Nope!
No one will ever leave me again
To make sure, put on this 3-foot fucking rope."
Present day, I've been on the truck for 51 years
My only friend is the AM radio
Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by
But it's always rocks and beer bottles they throw
At first they're excited to see a talking goat
They gather around to hear what I have to say
But I guess sometimes my stories go ont too long
So they leave and giggle I need a bidet
But you know there was a night that I did get off the truck
When the Old Man was passed out drunk
Three neightborhood kids took me to a rock 'n roll concert
The kind of music, old-school funk
It was the first time I got off the truck
The music made me lose control
The lead singer asked if we were having fun
I said, "Fucking crank that rock 'n roll!"
The women at the show were beautiful
As they danced sexily on the soft grass
One of them even petted my fur
Fuck me in the goat-ass!
Then some long-haired guys grabbed me by the horns
And threw me in the mosh pit
They passed me around and treated me nie
Till I nerviously sprayed them with shit
Then the music stopped
And everything was quite
And all the rock 'n rollers started a fucking goat-riot
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
Kill the goat!
They chased me under the bleachers
They chased me onto the street
They chased me into an alley
And said I was a dead fucking goat meat
But then I saw a sight
That I never thought I'd see
The Old Man swinging his hickory stick
But he wasn't swinging at me
"Fuck you, pot-smoking turkeys!
Don't you press your luck!"
The long hairs ran away screaming
As I scrambled onto the truck
When we got home, the Old Man said,
"Goat, you broke the sacred law
No! Please! Sorry! Shit!
I'll let it go this time, but if you leave again
I'll break your fucking jaw!"
Super! Great! Okay!
"Thank you Old Man, for saving my life
Thank you again and again
You could have let them barbeque me,
But you acted like a friend"
"I'm not your friend, I don't even like you
I'm just not drunk," he said
To prove his point, he drank a bottle of grain alcohol
And beat the fucking shit out of my head
(Ow, Ow! You're hurting me old man!)
That night I served a concussion
Deep inside my goat brain.
I still cannot feel my tailbone
And I'll probably never walk straight again
I guess you'd call me a scapegoat
A punching bag for the Old Man to mock
Just because his wife left him
For his brother's abnormally large cock
He could have been my buddy
But instead he's a crazy old fuck
And, once again, I go to sleep in my eternal home
The back of the pick-up truck
Goodnight, Old Man!
Yeah, goodnight Goat!
Adam Sandler - Letras
- 50 Ways To Get Bin Laden
- 7 Foot Man
- A Christmas Song
- Assistant Principal's Big Day
- Assistant Principal's Big Day
- At A Medium Pace
- At The Mall
- At The Mall (feat. Kevin Grady)
- Baby Got Jack
- Back 2 School
- Bad Boyfriend
- Best Friend
- Billy Madison's Victory Song
- Buddy
- Buddy[moving Train]
- Bum Biddy
- Calling Home
- Camp Granada
- Chanukah Song (III)
- Chris Farley Tribute
- Cock N Balls
- Cool Guy 1
- Cool Guy 2
- Cool Guy 3
- Cool Guy 4
- Cool Guy 5
- Cordurory Blues
- Corduroy Blues
- Crazy Love
- Creapin´ On The Mayor
- Dancin' And Pantsin
- Dancing In The Dark
- Davey's Song
- Dee Wee (My Friend the Massive Idiot)
- Dip Doodle
- Do It For Your Mama
- Dream On
- Eggs And Candy (Snl)
- Fatty McGee
- Fleiznavidad
- Food Innuendo Guy
- Forgetful Lucy
- Four Years Old
- Funny Happy Birthday Song
- Gay Robot
- Girl
- Grow Old With You
- Hanukkah
- Hanukkah Song Part One
- I Feel Pretty
- I Feel Pretty(Anger Managment)
- I Like Small Butts
- I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog
- I Wanna Grow Old With You
- I Will Go Back To School
- I'm So Wasted
- Im Not
- Instead of one day of presents
- Intervention Song
- Joining The Cult
- Kermet and Big Bird Stoned
- Knocking Heaven's Door
- Leabing Song Part II
- Let It Out, Davey
- Linda Song
- Listenin' To The Radio
- Long Ago
- Love Stinks
- Lunchlady Land
- Masturbata
- Medium Pace
- Memory Lane
- Mother's Day Song
- Moyda
- Mr. Bake-O
- Mr. Spindel's Phone Call
- My Little Chicken
- Ode To My Car
- Oh Mom...
- Operaman
- Patch Song
- Pibb Goes Surfing
- Pibb Tries The Skateboarding
- Pickin' Daisies
- Piece Of Shit Car
- Real Love
- Red Hooded Sweatshirt
- Respect
- Right Field
- Santa Song
- Secret
- Sex Or Weight Lifting
- She Comes Home To Me
- Sid & Alex
- Sloppy Joe
- Somebody Kill Me
- Stan The Man
- Station 69
- Steve Polychronopolous
- Stoned on Sesame Street
- Sun Tan Lotion Song
- Sweat Beatrice
- Technical Foul
- Teenage Love On The Phone
- Thanksgiving Song
- The Adventures Of The Cow
- The Amazing Willy Wanker
- The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver
- The Beating Of A High School Janitor
- The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher
- The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher
- The Beer Song
- The Boss And The Secretary
- The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions
- The Buffoon And The Valedictorian
- The Chanuka Song
- The Chanukah Song
- The Chanukah Song (II)
- The Chanukah Song, Part II
- The Chanukah Song, Pt. 3 [radio Version]
- The Chaunaka Song (Part 3)
- The Cheerleader
- The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview
- The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over
- The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson
- The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal
- The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl
- The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman
- The Goat Song
- The Grandma Song
- The Hannukah Oing
- The Hypnotist
- The Hypnotist feat Kevin Nealon
- The Lonesome Kicker
- The Longest Pee
- The Mayor Of Pussytown
- The Mule Session
- The Peeper
- The Psychotic Legend of Uncle Donnie
- The Respect Chant
- The Taliban Can
- The Thanksgiving Song
- They're All Gunna Laugh At You
- Toll Booth Willie
- Uses Of The Word Fuck
- Voodoo
- Ways To Get Bin Laden
- Welcome My Son
- What Do You Love
- What The Hell Happened To Me?
- Whore! Where Are You?!
- Yippie-Yo-Yo-Yea
- You Spin Me Right Round
- Zittly Van Zittles
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